How to be a Mario fan 101
by NyargleBargle
Summary: This little fic is actually going to be 100 very funny steps onto how to be just like Mario! Please enjoy and leave a review after if you liked it this please! Much obliged!
1. Chapter 1 Getting Started

How To Be A Mario Fan 101

**Published by: Koops' dad**

**Step 1: Everyday, for the rest of your life, go to a Halloween store and purchase a Mario outfit. **_Note: If it get's too small, buy a bigger one!_

**Step 2: Once you're the right age, change your name to Mario.**

**Step 3: Grow a mustache. If it isn't the right way of the Mario, shave it to the right amount.**

**Step 4: Get a brother named Luigi. **_Note: Name him Luigi if your gonna adopt a brother._

**Step 5: If you have wife, convince her to change her name to Peach Toadstool.**

**Step 6: Get a turtle. Name it Bowser. Put paper spikes glued on it.**

**Step 7: Get two babies. Name them Baby Mario and Baby Luigi. **_Note: When they grow to adult size, give them for adoption._

**Step 8: Get a baby turtle. Name it Baby Bowser or Bowser J.R.**

**Step 9: Get Luigi a girlfriend. Convince her to be named Daisy.**

**Step 10: Find five or six little friends and put the biggest fungi on them so you can call them Toads. GOOD LUCK!**


	2. Chapter 2 Time For Some Funnies!

**How To Be A Mario Fan 101: Continued**

Step 11: Make sure you have brown hair. _Note: If you don't, dye it!_

Step 12: Get a red hat and paint and/or draw an M on the front.

Step 13: Get white gloves and wear them for the rest of your Mario life.

Step 14: Force the Bowser turtle to have seven babies. _Note: We are not responsible for any animal cruelty!_

Step 15: Get the game, New Super Mario Bros. Wii, and match the seven babies as the ones you see in the game.

Step 16: Get some very old-looking mushrooms and paint them faces and legs, and jump on them for a maximum, 100 points.

Step 17: Become famous. _Note: If you can't, then don't even bother becoming Mario!_

Step 18: Get a time machine and teleport back to the age of dinosaurs and capture at least 50 and bring them back to the real world and name them yoshis. _Note: Paint them different colors._

Step 19: Fly into space and force a woman to become a princess of the stars. _Note: The space station will be her home._

Step 20: Find every star in the galaxy and paint them faces.

Step 21: Go into the jungle and capture a huge gorilla. Name him Donkey Kong and make him wear a necktie.

Step 22: Capture a monkey and name him Diddy Kong. Force him to wear a hat and a shirt.

Step 23: Find a fat but also strong guy and force him to be named Wario. Make him only eat garlic.

Step 24: Get a guy and name him Waluigi. _Note: If he's healthy, make him not work out._

Paper Mario Needs

Step 25: Draw and cut all the Paper Mario characters in the world.

Step 26: Make sure that your arms are at your side when you run/walk/stand.

Step 27: Eat a mutated mushroom and grow twice your size.

Step 28: Get a flower and dye it orange/red and name it a fire flower.

Step 29: Go back into space and grab a star. Put it into yourself. Make yourself invincible and glow-like.

Step 30: WARNING! HARDEST STEP! Make your very own paper Mario game and jump inside it to go inside. _Note: You will need a video game machine._


	3. Chapter 3 Let's Keep Moving Kids!

**How To Be A Mario Fan 101: Continued Again**

Step 31: Get yourself a pair of blue eyes to put on your color of your eyes.

Step 32: Get a jetpack and fly up to every cloud and draw a happy face on it with a sharpie marker.

Step 33: Find a venus flytrap and color it polka-dotted to make it look like a piranha plant.

Step 34: Go to random people's houses and color their pipes under the sink or bathroom, green.

Step 35: Force every single main character in the Mario games to play a racing game called Mariokart.

Step 36: Once you become famous, create your own race tracks and force people to wear silly Mario costumes in order to play.

Step 37: Make every single Toad be forced to be Peach's guards. _Note: If they say no, wack 'em._

Step 38: When your gonna have sexual intercourse with Peach (only) become a professional doctor and call yourself doctor Mario.

Step 39: Only eat Pasta and Mushrooms for the rest of your life.

Simple Steps

Step 40: Be chubby.

Step 41: Be able to jump high.

Step 42: Get Peach a castle.

Step 43: Just shut up for the rest of your life.

Step 44: Be able to walk around your city in a Mario plumber outfit.

Step 45: Find an old man and name him Professor E. Gadd and force him to build stupid machines and make him talk gibberish.

Step 46: Be brave.

Item Steps

Step 47: Steal a turtle's shell and use it to kick it to stuff.

Step 48: Make a flower red and shoot out fireballs.

Step 49: Draw a Mushroom a face and eat it and try to grow puberty fast.

Hardest Step

Step 50: Be able to trust that people will talk for you. _Note: Like a wingman._


	4. Chapter 4 Next Please!

_How To Be A Mariofan 101: Thou art Continuedeth_

Step 51: Do some random ritual and make these weird see-through ghosts come to life. Make sure that they are scared when they look at your FACE!

Step 52: Steal a bomb and glue yellow legs to it. Make sure to use gorilla glue on this one. Glue two side-ways ovals onto the front, but no mouth or nose. And make sure that they try to kill you. If they don't, then you did something wrong!

Step 53: Make sure that you dedicate yourself to Mario Fanfiction.

Step 54: Always wear the same clothes for the REST OF YOUR NATURAL BORN LIFE!

Step 55: Make sure to mutate the Bowser turtle so it's gigantic.

Step 56: Be able to breathe in space.

Galaxy Steps

Step 57: Make sure that you create many weird and very unnecessary planets in the galaxy.

Step 58: Make sure that you have a dinosaur named Yoshi. It has to be green and it can't say nothing but YAHOOO!

Step 59: Get your Yoshi to be able to eat space food in order for it to have cool and awesome power-ups.

Step 60: Make sure that you're not a girl.

Back To Steps

Step 61: Go to some weird tropical paradise named isle Delfino for some vacation on all the "hard" work you've been doing.

Step 62: Force your gibberish make-believe E. Gadd to build some F.L.U.D.D. water machine that can kill almost any bad guy.

Step 63: Make sure that you see tropical fatties that wear mini trees on their heads and make sure that they say words in, BLOOGHBLOOPBLOOGH!

Step 64: Don't ever take off your hat at the island because you will die!

Step 65: Always beat Bowser.

Step 66: Never play shooting games.

Step 67: Force Donkey Kong to steal some damsel-in-distress person named Pauline.

Step 68: Use useless mini toys that can save a woman from an ape instead of doing it yourself.

Step 69: Create a cool and awesome place that's called Mini Mayhem.

Step 70: Make sure that your brother SAVES YOU FROM SOME STUPID AND POINTLESS GHOST THAT WANTS TO CAPTURE YOU!

Step 71: Let your brother be in a game for once.

Step 72: Turn into a paper Mario and do some awesome adventure to save the world.

Step 73: When you fall, make sure that you don't get hurt!

Step 74: Make sure that you always start with five lives! No not nine, five!

Step 75: When you swim, be able to stay underwater, UNTIL THE ZOMBIE APOCOLYSPE COMES TO YOUR DOOM!

Step 76: Make sure you look 8-bit in the old Mario games.

Step 77: Make sure that when you eat a flower, your clothes change, okay?

Step 78: Make sure that you can fit into the green pipes.

Step 79: Make sure that you se yourself in third person when you are looking at a map.

Step 80: Make sure your mustache is better than Luigi's!


	5. Chapter 5 The Last Steps To Victory!

_How To Be A Mariofan 101 Last Continuation_

Step 81: Make the creatures talk to you and make sure that you understand them.

Step 82: When someone talks to you, make sure that a speech bubble pops up.

Step 83: Make sure that there is cool music playing in your adventure.

Step 84: When you touch a coin, make sure it disappears.

Step 85: Be on the cover of every video game you own.

Step 86: Always win at all of your games.

Step 87: Make sure that you have a pipe that will lead you to a place called Toad Town.

Step 88: Be in a game called Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Step 89: Learn how to FIGHT!

Step 90: Have more arch-nemisis' than partners.

Step 91: Make sure you get a kiss from your princess.

Step 92: Let someone control you in any of your games.

Step 93: Be on the cover of your Mario wallpapers.

Step 94: Be able to know how to race.

Step 95: Litter the race tracks with banana peels!

Step 96: Never take off a Shy Guy's mask. _Note: Just don't. Okay?_

Step 97: Get kissed by a lot of females.

Step 98: Go into a time-machine and find your baby-form.

Step 99: Create a shadow version of yourself and beat it with water! Yahooo!

Step 100: Never argue with the producer if your mustache is lop-sided.

**STEP 101: ALWAYS USE CHEAT CODES TO MAKE YOUR MARIO LIFE BETTER AND EASIER THAN IT HAS TO BE!**

Step 102: Nah, just kidding!


End file.
